Bar Back

All I want to do is
reach the bathroom
without anyone noticing
I'm not a patron
and yelling at me.

Why, why, why, why
is it so damn hard
to play it cool...
with a full bladder?

Gun Point

It is apparently traumatic
to shoot an animal
with a water gun.

Being awakened at 3am
for three nights straight
for a light snack...

is traumatic.

Frumpy Monday

My hair is not clean
or combed

My jeans are way
past their prime

I may have slept in
the shirt I am wearing

and the sneakers make it
official...

Bread and Butter Work

My most satisfying accomplishment
today was independently consuming
an entire baguette.

Re-tired

I am even more exhausted then
before I left for the relaxing retreat to the
planned community in Florida...

with lots of family.

Pack it in

People I have not talked to in months
Projects that have been put on hold
Personal deadlines that seemed realistic

all surface

two days before a well planned vacation.

IN GOD WE TRUST

I immediately picture George Washington whenever GOD is mentioned.

I was 14 before the misunderstanding was corrected.

It was too late.

Weak end

The piles of paper
I planned to tame
this week
will have to wait
until Monday.

Lucky Day

Lucky, the dog,
is a perfect animal.

Night Cap

The last thing I need to do before I leave
is find the pens that go with all five lids...
and not one is even in sight.

From Dusk to Dawn

Yes, they call it a Hallmark Holiday...
but it is also an entire day
that I will not wash one dish.

Drifting

Snowy Mondays make it hard to focus on anything.

Shake Shake Shake

There is blizzard warning for tomorrow and Sunday.

I'm prepared to take complete advantage of this
snowed-in opportunity and get some bullshit done.

Good Reception

Tonight, I am heading to a party to
celebrate a local radio station's new studio.

Hopefully snacks will be prevalent.

I love the radio...commercials and all.
I like to know if the world is on fire while I
am in my studio making business cards.

Sun Rise

The little light my bedroom gets
makes for a perfect night's sleep
but a very difficult early morning.

A fan of Fontina

The aroma of the fancy cheese I bought last week
is still upsetting the studiomates this week.

Fake ID

I have pretended to forget to bring business cards to meetings for
almost three years now.

I riffle through my purse and say something about how I we create them
for all of our clients but I never remember to bring my own--a lie...

I proceed to scribble my information on a scrap of paper as legibly
as I can.

Sense of Direction

I like to tell people where to go...
when they ask me
and I actually know how to get there.

But I really I like to tell them
what to eat,
where to shop
and where to get a perfect
cup of coffee
once they arrive.

Eyed Shadow

I am grateful that I have been
to the Ground Hog's Day
celebration in Punxsutawney once
in 1995.

Today flew by working on
some cosmetic packaging
and I almost missed hearing
the reliable prediction.

Solo Performance

I have some very good friends,
but I would not subject any of them to
the Joni Mitchell Tribute Concert tonight.

I'm going all by myself

and I cannot wait.

Fish Food

I don't eat ANY seafood
but
Pepperidge Farm Goldfish
by the fistful.

Inside Out

It was 60 degrees out today
same as inside.
I wore my shirt backwards AND inside out.
The weather is as confused as I am...

Second hand information

As soon as anybody offers a compliment to something
I am wearing I immediately begin a lengthy story about
how the merchandise was discovered which ALWAYS
ends by me anxiously revealing the shockingly low sticker price:

Don't they look expensive, I got them used..and they were only $5!!!

They're plastic.
Can you believe Payless carries shoes that look this good? $29!!!

I never shop and when I do I can't find anything I like.
I bought THREE pairs for just $6o!!!

After the price has been revealed I give detailed directions to the store, write the name down if I have a pen handy and offer a bunch of encouragement to go out and do the same.

It's time for me to learn how to just say,


thanks.

Stop sign

Getting started
is always hard.

It's even harder
knowing when
to stop.

A simple soup

I thought a new place for lunch
opened up across the street.
I'll admit it...
I was pretty excited.
There is nothing to eat around here
so I pack food.
Today I packed nothing...

Through the window I saw
two men looking at a laptop,
a cake stand and lots of rolls.
I pulled the door handle HARD.
It didn't move.

DAMMIT

I went back to work

Later I watched the guys enjoy their
tomato vegetable soup from "the new place".

They knew to push.

In Sickness and in Health

I arrived home from San Francisco to a
clean house,
clean laundry,
groceries and
flowers.

I brought back a cold with a fever.

I give Zach all the credit for me getting better
it could have been much much worse.

Book ends

I am dreading my commute
now that I have finished my most recent novel.

I'm officially 30

I wheeled and dealed and got a hotel room for $70 a night.
I've scheduled almost every lunch, dinner, breakfast & happy hour
for my three day trip to San Francisco next week.
I wrote about my pleasure for purchasing plane tickets on this blog.
I have even thought about what coat to pack...

What I DID NOT DO:
Actually make a plane reservation.

I picked my flight and even chose seats,
but I never quite booked it.
It is still a mystery to me.
There is NO record of my reservation.

And it's a holiday weekend and
space is very limited
so I am greatful to be 30 . . . A
(the last window seat)

No interest

Time to talk taxes and year end already

and reality is setting in:
I am going to have to deal with the piles,
the overstuffed drawers
and so so many pieces of paper

Can Good

Got a new cell phone ONLY because my previous one shattered.
The updated model has a colored screen and a MILLION buttons.

TO DATE: I cannot even make a simple call.

My 2 cents

I hate hate hate hate HATE to fly.
However, I DO enjoy booking the plane ticket.
I even like making hotel reservations...
It is such a cut and dry process and not a real technical one.
There are no difficult forms to fill out or text heavy paragraphs to read.
And when the process is completed I really feel like I accomplished something.

Buying stamps online is a simularly satisfying experince.
Again, for some reason this task makes me feel productive.
Lately, I have been drawn to the antique planes.
I bought enough of them to last me for months.
Very productive. VERY Satisfying.

Too bad the rates went up.

Arrangements

Finishing off the secretarial duties of 2006 is much much easier with a vibrant bouquet of fresh flowers on my desk.

Gimme an A!

I never shop during the middle of the day. Today I had to run some errands and I found myself in the midst of the holiday markdowns on Broadway. I am a bad shopper, wracked by guilt.

But I need new bras and shopping for them almost seemed productive.

I know my size.
I know the sale price was truly a deal.
I know I require this highly engineered padding.

I selected a few and saw the velvet rope marking the line that was wrapping around the store.

I walked out with nothing realizing
size DOES matter.

Top Shelf

I can make a 3 to 4 course dinner in less then an hour if I am limited to even the barest of ingredients that remain in the cabinets, freezer and door of the refrigerator.

I panic when I am forced to make a decision as to what to prepare while I am at the grocery store. The options are endless. I over complicate and overdo the meal.

I find limitations freeing.

Why bother?

New Years Observed

trains are on a holiday schedule
no mail today
I was first in line to get coffee
not one horn honked during my walk in

All Worked Out

No need to go to the gym when you
live in Brooklyn
work in Manhattan...


and the trains are on strike.

The Man with the Van

First I met Stanley.
He helped me find the Brooklyn Bridge.
Together we became the essential 4th and 5th passengers in the van.

The business man in his brand new
bright white Fulton Street Sneakers was thrilled for the lift.
The women next to me continued to "Praise the Lord"
because the ride was a "Holiday Miracle".

It did not feel like such a miracle on the walk home at 9:30 pm
in the 20 degree weather.

Well, the weather outside’s delightful,

sunny and bright.

but here inside it is GREY.
Well, I have discovered 8---YES 8--- GREY hairs.
Four on each side of my head.

Frightful,

I don't even feel old.
I will NOT let them grow,
let them grow,
let them grow...

My World On Time

Packages are arriving on time.
Packages are going out on time.
Things seem to be on scheldule...

However, I am confident I still have time to fuck something up.

The Cover-Up

It was 15 degrees when we left this morning. I wore my frumpy brown winter coat.

I am often cold.
The coat is VERY warm.
I am short.
The coat is VERY long.

I hate to take the time to cover the toilet seat...so I squat. This morning, I peed all over the back of my jeans.

The coat covered the careless mistake until it dried.

Present-ly

The overthinking, doubting, re-thinking, buying, making and eventually (hastily) wrapping has completely overtaken every last thought.

Punched Out

Moderation is key, especially when it comes to making...
and drinking
punch.

Everything’s All White

It snowed today AND I found 8 beautiful plastic white reindeer.

60 minutes

...that is how long it takes for my lasagna to cook. It barely takes me 20 to assemble. I am very fast. In 60 minutes I was able to clean every last dish in the house, hastily apply makeup and dress in the same clothes as yesterday, prepare and eat a pizza english muffin with black olives for breakfast, make an omelet for lunch, make out with the cat...impatiently waiting for the damn timer to go off. I wanted to get to work.

I am trying to imagine sitting still, doing nothing, for 60 minutes. Impossible.

Dough and the Deer

I was trying to run some errands after an exercise class today. Trying to get a few of the (client) gifts checked off the list. I was preoccupied. I wanted to find some deer like the ones we did NOT buy this weekend...and were sold only hours before Zach had returned to the store on Tuesday. They were $10 each and it seemed like a frivolous expense. But now...well now I love those damn Deer more then anything. They were flocked and brown with their antlers precariously wired on from years of holiday display. They were perfect. Getting more and more perfect the more difficult I realized it would be to find a set like them.

They would have looked amazing....hot glued to the bare white wall as if they were climbing...

to the North Pole.

The smell of summer

I am meeting up with, Davida, a "summer friend" of mine. Well, that is when we initially met over 11 years ago, teaching art at a summer camp.

I was always tan in the summer.

Once we met at the King of Prussia Mall in December and she realized I wasn't PERMANENTLY tan. To be honest...it is a fantasy of mine as well. I have never set foot in one of the UV machines, but I regular apply the fake tanning chemicals for that little extra boost.

Today was one of those days and yes, it smells...
but I am doing it for Davida.

Left Feet

I break shoes. I guess from walking very hard? It was a stretch to even try and get the black boots fixed. The pointed toes were almost holes and the spiky heals were nothing left but metal nails poking through. Joe, the shoe man, looked disappointed and began speaking in Italian. I was surprised when he even took them from me and handed me a ticket last weekend. He seemed so disgusted by them.

They were ready LAST Wednesday...barely 5 blocks away from home. As the weekend passed and we bought a tree, drank plenty of (red) wine, admired several snow men, did laundry, cleaned, walked and walked and walked and STILL did not pick them up. I am realizing I am afraid and maybe even a little ashamed to go back. It is these certain situations---

I AM shy.

(I'll have Zach go...)

A Clean State

I've dumped and cleaned out my purse, thrown away a wasteful amount of paper (even shredded some), emptied my small trash can-- twice and now I am ready for the final spray...

This ritual takes place every two weeks or so.

I do not clean-as-I-go...I find that tedious.

Office Unplugged

To wear headphones or NOT to wear headphones.

THAT IS THE QUESTION.

I wear them:
May miss hearing the phone
Have to take them on and off every time I get up
Cannot eavesdrop
I MAY get more done...be less distracted

I DON"T wear them:
Pay more attention to fantasy players that are being drafted then I do to my own projects.
Easier to spend entire day on phone
Can listen to the music the guys are playing (BUT NOT IN STEREO)